Transformation Tools
An introduction to my top three attitude-adjustment resources
I was talking with a friend the other day, who was telling me about a challenging professional situation. I noticed that she had a really negative prediction for how things would go. I had no objective information to form my own opinion on the matter but, what I thought didn’t matter in the least. The only thing that matters for her outcome is her attitude. Whatever she thinks, is going to happen … one way or another.
How many times have you predicted doom and gloom for yourself and it came true?
“I’m sure I won’t be up for promotion in this cycle.”
“I will never get enough time off to do some extended travel.”
“This presentation is going to flop.”
Think about it - the things you REALLY want to do, you get excited about them, you talk about them with hope and optimism, and I bet you’ve done them. Then there are things that you want, like also REALLY want, but are unsure, insecure, passive, or lack confidence. Your attitude about those things drives your success with them.
Henry Ford nailed it with "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't—you're right."
So it’s simple math. If our attitudes create outcomes, and we’re not getting the outcomes we want, then we need to change our attitude. Attitude drives Behavior which creates Outcomes. It makes so much sense it hurts.
If you are anything like me, you really like your attitude just fine the way it is, thank you very much. This stubbornness is a genetic blessing and a curse. The curse is that I don’t back down in an argument. I hold my ground long after I know the battle is lost. I’ll relent eventually - I’m not an asshole - but I just need my time to hold strong and grieve my losses.
“Wouldn’t life be just a little bit easier if I didn’t have this fury inside me?,” I thought one day recently, as I reflected on numerous stressful experiences in my life over the last couple years - from my marriage to my career - that were caused by my need to hold my ground. 💡“What if I had the ability to change my mindset about something so that I wouldn’t have to argue and feel bad and make someone else feel bad?”
I’m sure you’ve had this same epiphany. And maybe you’re more malleable than me, but in my experience, working on a core character trait is a lot like attempting to quit an addiction. I think you need to try, something like seven times before you are successful at it. Yep, this tracks. I have tried at the very least six times to be a totally different person. So I just need to do it one more time. Lucky number seven!
It is time once again to rattle things up in my brain and see what rises to the top. There are three books that have been monumental in the re-evaluation of my life and the forging of my self, my desires, and my choices.
Before I tell you about these three books, I need to warn you that there is nothing at all special about these books, other than the fact that they resonated with me so I did what they said. The self-help category is exploding with all kinds of content from highly reputable leaders and teachers. But their techniques are only going to work if you DO THE WORK. So find something that speaks to you and go DO THE WORK. Here are three books that inspired me to do the work.
#1 - The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
Early in 2002, just a few months after the World Trade Center fell, I was on a plane from Sydney, Australia to Seattle, Washington, where I was moving back home after living abroad for the past year. It was the epitome of a bittersweet moment. Living in Australia was the single most exciting personal and professional accomplishment I had in my life to that point. I manifested it from my first day at AEI Music, which was about 2 years before the move to Sydney happened.
On that plane, I reflected how I had just been through a career-defining, boundary-stretching, skill-building experience of a lifetime. I had been the Product Manager on a US product that rolled out internationally. They relocated me to Australia to manage the launch of the product in APAC.
But, while I was in Australia, a couple major events took place: (1) the twin towers fell and the world changed forever in every way, and (2) my company had been acquired and the rest of the rollouts in APAC were cancelled - I was told that I needed to go home, and that when I get there, they won’t have a place for me at the company anymore.
Basically, I experienced my most epic professional success and letdown simultaneously. That has to scar a person, right? Especially, an ambitious and impressionable 25-year-old woman.
I lost my job and with it, I lost my compass, my hopes and dreams, my daily raison d’être. I started working at AEI as a Technical Support Specialist. It was the perfect corporate entry point for someone who studied Music + Audio/Electrical Engineering. If I couldn’t make money being a Recording Engineer (I thought I couldn’t, so I didn’t even try … what if I had read this blog post back then???), then this was a great alternative. I quickly moved into the Technology group and became a product manager - actually, the title was Product Specialist - it was like an Associate Product Manager today. I was great at it right away — no, definitely not perfect! not by a long shot, but I thrived in the mix of creative + technical work. It was an authentic extension of my art + science degree, and I was proud of that.
During this rudderless time, I went to my first ever yoga class - “Maybe I could become spiritually enlightened so that I will know exactly what to do!” I did not become spiritually-enlightened in that class, but the instructor did happen to mention The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron in a comment at the end of class. Her description intrigued me enough to pick up a copy when I happened to see it in a bookshop later that week.
The Artist’s Way is a 12-week guided course about bringing your creative energy into the world. While a lot of professional artists - writers, painters, dancers, filmmakers, jewelry makers, actors, etc. - have used The Artist’s Way to create their professional masterpieces, the book is applicable to anyone who finds joy in creative activities, but doesn’t know how to fit them into a practical life.
The 12-week program is built on five things -
Daily Morning Pages (3 pages of free-form journaling)
Daily Tasks (assigned in each week’s program)
Weekly reading (each week tackles a different creative barrier and strategies to overcome it)
Weekly Reflection (a chance to note any synchronicities from the last week)
Weekly Artist’s Date (taking yourself out on a date for a few hours to do something creative)
The structure appealed to me right away. The tasks seemed fun, not corny. The chapter titles brought up concepts that jolted me: Identity, Power, Integrity, Connection, Abundance, Strength. So I started the course in 2002, and 25 years later, I picked the book - the same exact book - back up. It has been outrageously helpful to work through the Tasks.. and so cute to see little notes in the margins from my 25-year-old self ❤️. I have been astounded at what I have learned, just by writing it down. Like really, sitting down with a journal and pen, and thinking deep and writing down whatever crazy shit comes up in my head. Here’s 3 examples from The Artist’s Way that I did just this, and had a mini break-through. If you are curious, try these and see what happens for you:
Think of a project you are working on and excited about, related to your dreams. List all of your resentment about the project. List all of your fears about project. List everything you stand to gain by not doing the project. Then get started on the project.
Take note of your biggest creative time-block. What do you consciously decide to do instead of working on your creative project?
Make a list (rapid-fire) of your 5 favorite movies, 5 favorite books, 5 favorite TV shows. Write traits of all of them - What do they have in common?
Thanks to The Artist’s Way, working through exercises like this made me name my strengths, weaknesses, desires, lies I tell myself, and my values. Getting unblocked fueled me to jump to action on:
Taking an acting class
Starting to write my novel (and on-going breakthroughs with writing as I progress through The Artist’s Way)
Creating a small painting/drawing space on my desk with all of my supplies out - When everything is already out and in sight, it means that I’m drawing or painting just about every day. It’s so hard to walk by and not do a little something.
Hanging my artwork in my apartment.
I can’t wait to see what continues to unfold through my practice of The Artist’s Way.
#2: How To Do The Work by Dr. Nicole LePera
This is one of those books that makes me wish there was some sort of ‘comprehension rating’ requirement for books, like there is for children’s toys. The title may give it away, but you’re gonna have to do the work that Dr. Nicole mentions, not just read about it. Although the reading is fascinating, the reading tells a story about people who are NOT YOU. To figure out YOU, you need to answer her questions - thoughtfully, continuously, deeply.
I never considered this book to be “a book I’ve read” because I find it completely impossible to read cover to cover. It is more of a workbook for life. When I get into it, it can take me months to “do the work” within one chapter.
If it sounds scary, it is. It will probably hurt. But it won’t kill you. You will be stronger on the other side of THE WORK.
#3: Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
If you just want one totally awesome and inspiring transformational resource from this list that won’t demand too much of your time, this is the one.
Big Magic is almost like I prompted Claude with this:
Summarize the wisdom, knowledge, and advice from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and How To Do The Work by Dr. Nicole LePera in a short self-help book, in the conversational and self-deprecating-while-self-loving style of Elizabeth Gilbert. Make the hard and heady stuff in those books a little more fun and light-hearted, but don’t leave out the hard truth stuff.
Elizabeth Gilbert is like the happy, fun big sister or aunt who tells it like it is, but makes it all sound so pretty and magical and awesome so you get super excited and motivated and happy. I recognize the importance of not needing to take everything too seriously all the time, so this one is my “fun” transformational read.
🧐 If you have an experience with a book, podcast, blog, or any other media that helped you with a transformation, drop the names in the comments. I would love to know what specifically about the content inspired you into action.
Or, if you don’t have suggestions, but feel compelled to pick up one of these suggestions, let me know how it goes for you. I’m here for you through your unpacking, clearing out, redecorating, and remodeling.