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Lori's avatar

Beautiful my friend.

Cortney Jacobsen's avatar

Love you. Thank you for everything.

Liesbeth's avatar

Thanks for this honest, authentic and vulnerable story. I am very happy to read that you see the little girl you were and that you get rid of your self-doubt and shame. You are such an amazing and beautiful woman, you deserve all the love and esteem in the world.

Cortney Jacobsen's avatar

Thank YOU, Liesbeth, for these extremely kind words. I'm so thankful that Thailand, and the elephants (and the dog and cats!), brought our paths together.

Eileen  Quenin's avatar

Thank you for being vulnerable.

This was healing for me to read/listen.

I have a spiritual mentor who hides me on reflections/resentments using a template.

What it is/Who it is

What exactly was it about

What dimension of my life did it effect:

Self-Esteem: Feelings of worth, pride, or dignity.Security: Emotional, physical, or mental safety.

Finances (Pocketbook): Financial stability, greed, or fear of poverty.

Personal/Sex Relationships:

Social standing, companionship, and romantic/sexual relationships.

Ambitions: Personal goals, professional aspirations, and drive

The next column is “what was my part?”

I used to get hung up on this one -

“My Part”?!

My mentor walked me through

particularly things that were beyond my control; too young

or not in a place/state of mind where I could have “a part”

beyond the fact that I was simply there.

I was there was in the direct line of sight of a predator.

I get what you wrote.

I had no blame in that circumstance.

Zero. That’s what predators do, they hunt and consume.

It was freeing and transformative to accept this.

Of course the other side is that my old self and way of operating was to “be in control”;

if I’m in control of everything, I can prevent bad things from happening.

It’s not true. There is some grief and sadness in this knowledge.

But what is true for me, is that the past me and current me and future me are all on the same page..

We all love, accept and support each other completely.

So no matter what; I trust me.

I hope you and your inner family continue to grow stronger and closer together. Hugs

Cortney Jacobsen's avatar

Love so much of this. It is so helpful to have a framework - for those of us who like to be in control! I will use this. I love what you say about your past, present, and future "me" being on the same page. Hard to keep this in balance, but it is a great ideal state to strive for.

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May 2
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Cortney Jacobsen's avatar

I am learning to accept that it happens when it happens, and that this is different for every person and every circumstance.