Ahh Cortney. You are far more relatable than you know! I write about my amazing Camino journey in my publication but that was 3 years ago and I am still swirling around old questions and trying to disrupt old patterns. It's a little easier as a result of that experience, but damn it, nobody ELSE changed while I was gone so it is up to me to completely repattern all these relationships and habits. And you better believe that that old, pre-Camino wiring kicks in, still. Only now it hurts because I know there's a better way but I seem to be losing the memory for it. (I suppose that is one reason why I write my blog -- to revisit and remember.)
I think a lot of people show up on Substack and elsewhere like sages but sometimes I think about how they must be when they are staring at the mirror at night, running an errand, doing the dishes, navigating life without the filters and followers. Probably a lot like you and me. That means we are all at the same level. Mediocre? Or continually striving, despite the outcome which is out of our hands? I would say that makes us pretty damn special after all.
The part that resonates most is the hedonistic adaptation around your own free time!!!! I am the same. I will make 85 projects up for a period where I’m supposed to just relax. I didn’t even rest through my hysterectomy, which was one of the most excusable rest periods I’ve been offered in decades. I’ll show you my to do list for the time I had off. It is silly. My overflowing plate of obligations is always 90 percent my fault. I also feel like other people have a less effortful time at all the things. Anyway, just came to agree with Rebecca that you are relatable and that we’re all out here just trying to chill out some more than we let ourselves.
Yep, I can totally relate to what you're saying! Thank you for sharing, as always. I suspect that our overflowing plates are also related to that "effortful" feeling we both have.
I can so relate to the constant striving, yearning for validation, and over-intellectualization instead of listening to my body. Thank you for articulating all of these things so beautifully!
Ahh Cortney. You are far more relatable than you know! I write about my amazing Camino journey in my publication but that was 3 years ago and I am still swirling around old questions and trying to disrupt old patterns. It's a little easier as a result of that experience, but damn it, nobody ELSE changed while I was gone so it is up to me to completely repattern all these relationships and habits. And you better believe that that old, pre-Camino wiring kicks in, still. Only now it hurts because I know there's a better way but I seem to be losing the memory for it. (I suppose that is one reason why I write my blog -- to revisit and remember.)
I think a lot of people show up on Substack and elsewhere like sages but sometimes I think about how they must be when they are staring at the mirror at night, running an errand, doing the dishes, navigating life without the filters and followers. Probably a lot like you and me. That means we are all at the same level. Mediocre? Or continually striving, despite the outcome which is out of our hands? I would say that makes us pretty damn special after all.
Hugs, my friend.
This choked me up. Thank you, Rebecca, for these beautiful and reassuring words.
The part that resonates most is the hedonistic adaptation around your own free time!!!! I am the same. I will make 85 projects up for a period where I’m supposed to just relax. I didn’t even rest through my hysterectomy, which was one of the most excusable rest periods I’ve been offered in decades. I’ll show you my to do list for the time I had off. It is silly. My overflowing plate of obligations is always 90 percent my fault. I also feel like other people have a less effortful time at all the things. Anyway, just came to agree with Rebecca that you are relatable and that we’re all out here just trying to chill out some more than we let ourselves.
Yep, I can totally relate to what you're saying! Thank you for sharing, as always. I suspect that our overflowing plates are also related to that "effortful" feeling we both have.
I can so relate to the constant striving, yearning for validation, and over-intellectualization instead of listening to my body. Thank you for articulating all of these things so beautifully!
Thanks for the validation (see what I did there?) ;-) I just can't help it! We're all a work in progress. Learning every day.
We all crave it! That’s why I try to take time to comment when I have enjoyed a piece. 😁