Costa Rica: Jungle Love, Idyllic Beaches, and Spiritual Awakening

The Caribbean town of Puerto Viejo was a spiritual-schooling backdrop

“I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual.”

I’m sure you have people in your life who claim the distinct identity between religious and spiritual. I have been one of those people - i.e. I don’t go to church, but I’ve been meditating every day for over a decade; I don’t believe in one religious God, but I believe that there is something bigger than all of us, supporting and guiding.

I have been quite comfortable with the identity of “spiritual” until this week, when everything I thought I understood about spirituality was obliterated, and then reconstructed with more substantive meaning.

But first, how I ended up in Puerto Viejo

Puerto Viejo is a small port town on the Caribbean side of Costa Rica, about 35 miles north of the Panama border. The greater area, which stretches for 20 miles is lined with jewel after jewel of beautiful beaches, and bookended on the north and south by National Parks - Manzanillo NP on the south end and Cahuita NP on the north.

I didn’t explicitly intend to spend time in Puerto Viejo, but Costa Rica was calling me in my sabbatical planning. I visited the Pacific coast (Las Catalinas) in 2019 and, in my research, was learning about the distinct culture differences between the Pacific and Caribbean coasts of the country, so decided that I would make my way to the Caribbean side for this trip.

One of my strategies for solo travel this year is to ensure that I have a smattering of group events lined up so that I meet other people, share experiences, and just simply ward off loneliness. I researched retreats all over Costa Rica, searching for something unique that combined yoga, creativity, culture, and a group of women. An “Unleashing Your Creative Bliss” event on BookRetreats.com sparked my interest.¹ I was drawn to the leaders, Claire Birchenough (former English Lit teacher, turned Kundalini Yoga teacher, Editor, and Entrepreneur) and Cat Lindroth (serial entrepreneur for non-profits and social impact). I was also drawn to the location, EsoTerra Foundation, whose website opens with “A NEW ERA OF FEMININE LEADERSHIP” (yes, all-caps on purpose) - I didn’t need to read much further 😉

The trees are just … WOW 🤩

An A-HA! about Creativity and Intuition

Over the past few years, in pursuit of corporate and financial status, my creativity has been sinking deeper into a black hole in my soul. I have been learning to hone every decision I make based on well-researched plans and calculations from weighted pros/cons lists in spreadsheets. By contrast, in my mind, a “creative” decision would be one that was wacky, risky, silly, playful, and irresponsible. But as my sadness grew, so did my magnetism toward a sketchpad, paintbrushes, my journal, acting classes, swing dance classes, theater, and art galleries.

Reflecting on the sadness I have felt, and how I intuitively responded to it, I have a better sense of what intuition feels like AND I am no longer rejecting the reality that I am a creative being. I can thank the “Creative Bliss” retreat, largely, for this mindset shift.

I know that product management - and business strategy, for that matter - can be creative, but a typical business environment does not want to support this. In my career, I was focused entirely on pleasing the business instead of myself, and therefore I allowed my work to morph into something entirely uncreative which started to feel foreign and unfulfilling to me over time.

Creative Practice Morphs Into Spiritual Practice

For years, I’ve had a really cool idea for a novel stewing in my brain, but I had no idea how to start to write a book, and no time to take any action on it. “I’ll do that when I retire,” I told myself. When I started my sabbatical, I was excited to finally have the time to write my book. I chose this enormously challenging project as my creative anchor to occupy the Achiever in me, who was sure to get restless with too much wandering and rest & relaxation. In the pragmatic mind that I was in when I booked the “Creative Bliss” retreat, I expected to work on my novel during the retreat and to have meaningful progress to show, as demonstrated by thousands of words, completed scenes, and maybe even chapters, by the end of the 9 days.

Oh dear, by that measure, this retreat was a complete failure! I drifted in and out of the novel, experiencing far more creative blocks than creative flows, and spent considerable time wrestling with the discomfort and frustration of not achieving what I set out to.

But Claire - our fearless leader - had a plan more grand than writing scenes and chapters. Her structure for the week showed me the necessity of going deep into my desires, my creative identity, my inner critic, and listening to the vibrations from my chakras before the creative flow can start.

My retreat notes

Chakras, Kundalini, and Kirtan… Oh My!

If I lost you on that last part about ‘vibrations from my chakras,’ then you are on the same frequency that I was on at the start of the retreat. It’s not that chakras are too woo-woo for me, it’s just that my intellectual interest in them has not crossed the chasm into true spiritual work, and certainly has never been my idea of a group activity. But, truly, they were just the beginning of the “Spirituality 101” that Claire and Cat schooled me on.

They introduced me to a slew of new spiritual tools that I can now use to better understand my creativity and intuition. Here are a few of the practices and ceremonies that we played with that I can now add to my transformation tools. I’ve included links for you to explore if you are inclined - I highly encourage it! If any of this sounds too “out there” for you, know that I felt the same at first, and I’m happy to be a sounding board for your thoughts, doubts, and questions.

Music & Movement

• Sound Bathing (with Lester Seal) - During a sound bath, the facilitator taps sound bowls, metal bowls, gongs, chimes, and tuning forks to create a relaxing wash of sound that is relaxing and beautiful to just lie there and enjoy. Lester created a unique experience for us, using his voice, sound loops, and a bunch of acoustic and electronic instruments.

• Kirtan (with Adri Leiva) - Kirtan is a Hindi call-and-response chanting, accompanied by a harmonium and drums. It does not require any musical talent (though Adria definitely has it!) and focuses on creating music - even improvising - as a community.

• Ecstatic Dance (ecstaticdance.org) - Simply put, just put on some electronic music with a good beat and move your body however it wants to move. Go on, get totally uninhibited, don’t try to look good, and just shake, jump, flap your wings, or pretend you’re a ballerina!

• Dance of Universal Peace (dupna.org) - Singing simple phrases from different religions and cultures that center on the spread of peace and love around the world, pairing the words with simple movements, and connecting with the other participants, Universal Peace Dance is a really joyful practice to remove yourself from the troubling news in the world and give yourself a reminder that there really is good in the world.

Yoga

• Kundalini Yoga - Remove thoughts of sun salutations and vinyasa flows from your mind. Kundalini is about chanting and moving breath through the body. Some common chants include Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo (“I bow to the creative wisdom, I bow to the divine teacher within” - see? Creativity and Intuition! Who knew?) and Sat-Nam (“Truth is my identity).

Writing

• Morning Pages - This is the same Morning Pages from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way that I mentioned in this post. This is 3 pages of uninterrupted, stream-of-consciousness writing to get the busy-ness of your brain out so that your head can be cleared for more creative endeavors.

• Channel Writing - This is the opposite of Morning Pages, where you actually stop thinking and just allow yourself to receive messages from your intuition, God, your higher power, etc. I’ll admit, this one caused quite a catharsis for me (read: many, many tears) because I really struggle to get out of my head. This is one I will need to practice before it becomes comfortable.

• Found Poetry - This is a fun way to write a poem. Take small phrases (3-8 words) from various sources - could be your Morning Pages, a piece you are working on, or a story that inspired you - and connect a bunch of them together to create a brand new poem.

Creating group Found Poetry from our stories and writings at the retreat

Personal Reflection

• Grief Circle - One night, we each took several minutes to write about something, or many things, that we are grieving. We started with the prompts “I didn’t get to…,” “I wish…,” “It hurts me…,” “I’ll never forget…” and let it all go on the page. Then was the super scary part where we shared what we wrote with each other. Uncomfortable, difficult, embarrassing, and also healing.

• Medicinal Ceremonies - Yes, I am talking about psychedelics. i.e. psilocybin (aka magic mushrooms), ayahuasca, DMT, and mescaline (among others). Spiritually (as opposed to recreationally), these substances (aka “the medicines”) are used in ceremony with the services of a trained “guide” who holds the space for bringing forth and processing psychological, emotional, and spiritual questions. We did not do this as part of the retreat, but I have a ceremony coming up during my time in Costa Rica, and will write separately about this. Stay tuned…

• Gene Keys - Gene Keys are a collection of 64 attributes from which your true nature and purpose is determined based on your birthdate. It’s like an astrological sign, but a lot more complex. Each key has a “shadow” that needs to be transformed into a “gift,” which then guides you to a “Siddhi,” which is the ultimate fulfillment of your purpose.

And also, Sisterhood

I would be remiss if I did not mention community, and specifically sisterhood. There were seven women total on this retreat (including our teachers), ages 19 to 61! We shared our single status, transition through a major life event, and/or taking an extended break from work. I can only describe what I experienced with this group as the power of the divine feminine. What I mean by that is this:

When women gather and share their vulnerability, kindness, intelligence, and respect for each other, their individuality is mirrored back, charging each woman with a superpower to serve herself and her world.

I suppose this energy is what boys and men have always known, playing on the playground together, as building each others’ confidence. A group of women, game for the sisterhood, have a depth of words, emotions, and empathy that is electrifying. It fills me with pride to be a woman, and to be a part of a sisterhood. (I’m having a hard time getting visions of Themyscira, Wonder Woman’s birth place, out of my head 😂)

Channel Writing on Playa Chiquita

To Wrap It All Up

At first glance, it may seem that I failed at my goal of novel-writing during this retreat, but upon reflection, I think that I actually made tremendous progress. While the words have not found themselves to the page yet, they were provided a springboard of creative, intuitive, and spiritual knowledge from which they will leap when the timing is right for them.

Mostly, I’m insanely proud of myself for approaching this retreat with an open mind and going all-in on it, however uncomfortable it was at times. On the last day of the retreat, during our morning yoga practice, I reflected on how all the work I had done that week on my spirituality made me incredibly self-conscious. And I thought, “Hmmm… self-conscious. Conscious of my self…” - and it dawned on me, that is kinda the whole point of spiritual work. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thank You for allowing me to share this with you. Namaste 🙏

On the last day of our retreat, we each shared a piece of writing that we worked on during the retreat. I wrote a “Manifesto for My Open Heart,” which you can read here.

1. I don’t have great advice for finding retreats. I did most of my searching on BookRetreats and BookYogaRetreats, but there are literally tens of thousands out there, they can be ridiculously expensive, and it is hard to know what you’ll get. The retreat I chose was $2,000 for 9 days and included glamping-like accommodations, food, daily yoga, workshops, and excursions. My only advice - if you don’t have a personal connection with a retreat organizer - is to just go with your gut and keep an open mind.